February 1, 2012
Open heart surgery
OSF/ The Children's Hospital of Illinois
Dr. Fortuna
6:00 a.m.
It is finally here. After all the waiting and worrying and even wondering if this day would ever come...
We were not sure this surgery would happen on this day. Eliza got sick again the week before the surgery. She had a double ear infection from teething. For three days in a row she had to go and get a shot called Rocefin, a sort of antibiotic. It is a pretty rough shot and hurts really bad. Later in the day she would not even want to walk it hurt so bad. She would just cry and cry. Friday she had to go get all her pre-operation procedures (chest x-ray, blood work, and an EKG) and then go to the pediatricians and get her shot, all while not feeling well. It was such a horrible day for her, but we got through it somehow.
I hardly slept the night before her surgery. We woke up early, got ready, and finished packing. Once we were all ready to go we woke up Eliza and put her in the car. She was so sweet the whole time and even in the waiting room she played well and was really happy. She would get nervous when the nurses got too close but there was no crying. The last 15 minutes (right before 8:00 a.m.) she started to get hungry and thirsty. She kept asking for a "drink" and a "snack".
{waiting on the main floor of the hospital}
{waiting on the surgical floor, she loved the beeper:)}
{getting dressed in her little gown}
{she loved these little cozy socks}
{Eliza loved their little play room... more waiting}
When it was time to say goodbye I seriously thought I would jump out of my skin. It just made me sick to think of leaving her in a strange place with strange people and have her be afraid. One of the hardest things I have ever done is give my baby girl to a nurse and turn around and walk away. It is something that goes against every mother instinct I have.
The surgery went pretty fast (five hours total) and we were updated all along the way. I tried to clear my mind and not think of what was happening. I read a book and ate lots of treats.
It was finally time to go see our baby girl. We met with the surgeon first and he explained how the surgery went. The hole was even bigger than they thought so it was really good that we went ahead and did the surgery. As Dr. Fortuna walked us down the hall towards Eliza's room, I could hear her screaming. I was not prepared for this. I don't want to go into too much detail because it is so painful to even write about, but she did not come out of surgery well. She was crying and saying "mama, mama". She was so mad and so scared and in a lot of pain. I had laryngitis so I had my mouth right up to her ear telling her it would be okay and that mama was there. They kept trying to fix her medications so she would be comfortable, but either it would be too much and she would stop breathing or not enough and she would be in obvious pain. I asked them if they could get a regular hospital bed so I could at least lay down by her and put my arm around her (we could not pick her up at all). It was at least seven hours later until she was able to calm down and sleep without crying and whining in her sleep. She would wake up every five to fifteen minutes just panicked and I would soothe her back to sleep. I had to keep telling myself that she would not remember this. It is the only thing that got me through those long hours. The nurses thought she was such a fighter! She was fighting against the medications and the last anesthesia. She was also fighting against all the tubes everywhere. She did not want to be hooked up to anything. I guess they usually don't have patients react so violently right out of surgery. I think it was stressful on them also.
It was finally time to go see our baby girl. We met with the surgeon first and he explained how the surgery went. The hole was even bigger than they thought so it was really good that we went ahead and did the surgery. As Dr. Fortuna walked us down the hall towards Eliza's room, I could hear her screaming. I was not prepared for this. I don't want to go into too much detail because it is so painful to even write about, but she did not come out of surgery well. She was crying and saying "mama, mama". She was so mad and so scared and in a lot of pain. I had laryngitis so I had my mouth right up to her ear telling her it would be okay and that mama was there. They kept trying to fix her medications so she would be comfortable, but either it would be too much and she would stop breathing or not enough and she would be in obvious pain. I asked them if they could get a regular hospital bed so I could at least lay down by her and put my arm around her (we could not pick her up at all). It was at least seven hours later until she was able to calm down and sleep without crying and whining in her sleep. She would wake up every five to fifteen minutes just panicked and I would soothe her back to sleep. I had to keep telling myself that she would not remember this. It is the only thing that got me through those long hours. The nurses thought she was such a fighter! She was fighting against the medications and the last anesthesia. She was also fighting against all the tubes everywhere. She did not want to be hooked up to anything. I guess they usually don't have patients react so violently right out of surgery. I think it was stressful on them also.
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